For me
Yesterday they played "Hayley's comet"
In the liveliness of the shared room.
The chords struck the chatter in the kitchen
It was one of those times
Where the pure presence of people
Made us feel whole.
And I really wanted to be in this moment
But you took it away from me.
I was sitting on the couch
Not alone but away
Not unwanted but misplaced
You were singing
You have a beautiful voice without needing to try
And it pierced my stomach
Singing the lyrics you didn't mean
But I felt them.
Every time in your presence
Every time after.
"In my dreams I seem to be more honest
and I must admit you've been in quite a few"
I didn't try to recite mine
But they flashed in my eyes.
My subconscious can not even rest from you
Make me feel stupidly soft for how much I think of you.
Not even a relationship
I got told
"Just a fling"
For me, it was a possibility
For me, it was reaching
For me, it was caring
For me, it was trying to understand
Until, it became stopping
It was "we'll still be friends"
It was one word exchanges
It was passing in silence
It is now.
And I'm the only one
To think this way.
To wonder what you're doing now
To wonder if you miss me
To wonder if you ever think of me.
For you, was it just a fling?
For you, it has gone
For you, because it has gone, I'm not here
For you did you even care for knowing me?
You sing "Hayley's comet"
And you finish the song and go back to chatter
And I sit with the thoughts that you're supposed to have.
