Six
It's been six months since I last had a suicidal thought.
Six months since calling the hotlines.
Suffering in bed.
Fighting, every. Single. Day, to keep living.
Fighting the urge to overdose on pills
Fighting the urge to cut open my arms
Fighting the urge to jump off any cliff I could think of.
Six months ago I was dating you.
You aren't responsible for my actions or emotions, but you are a factor.
A factor in how my heart would buzz because it would race so frequently
A factor in how I kept getting styes from crying
A factor in my overthinking mind
Six months ago I'd rather die than not be with you.
Six months later I'm happy I survived.
