Ruby - Astari Boedikoentjara
It turns out
a decade and more
are still not enough
to know you as a whole.
I can still see the beauty in your soul,
Someday,
when I’m back on my feet again
I’ll remember all you said
and how much you’d been a pain
I’ll remember what you put me through
So you want to get to know me,
but just to find any flaws to see,
before you judge as you please?
Tough luck.
I’ve read you first.
That is one question
you may never have the guts
to say out loud
here, right to my face.
You can’t fool me with your expressions.
Are you afraid of my face?
I am human too,
just like you.
This face represents me.
This is part of my identity.
How to recognise me,
What is it with people like you?
You treat everything a competition,
all in the name of public acknowledgment.
You flaunt your fortunes,
clearly fishing for compliments.
This is why Time Machine is only fiction
You can only look back
to search for what you’ve lacked:
Words you should’ve said…
Come...
Come back...
Come back to us...
Come back to use, please...
Every line’s a trigger
I don’t expect you to see
all the good in me
all that I’d like to be
anything lovely.
I need this
Oh, Casanova-wannabe
Who are you, really?
So you still haven’t given up on me
How to make you see?
Stop acting like you’re oh-so-desirable
I'm denying my natural rights to fall apart
This world always demands a fight
with all my might
I don't always know
the next levels I should go
Being the first in line
doesn’t mean it’s always fine
You’re not always the priority
left to just wait and see
I’m not bitter
